one month

but really, was there life before Gwen? It seems like she's been in our family forever. At one month old some of my favorite things about her...

her snorts. I wonder if she will be one of those people who snorts when she laughs because as a baby, she snorts when she cries. I have a hard time not laughing at her. I love it.

her chubby thighs and double chin. Although they are getting chubby a little too quick. She's already outgrown her newborn clothes and I'm afraid the 3 month size will be too small soon. It's happening too fast.

she sleeps best next to her mama. Gwen usually starts the night out in the bassinet next to our bed and at some point always makes her way into our bed. She seems to sleep best there and I don't mind. It's guaranteed that within a few minutes of me getting up in the morning, Gwen will be awake too.

the way she arches her back when you take her out of the car seat.

she loves her baths.

her "blue steal" face. we can't help but compare her to zoolander when she makes the serious "O" mouth while she looks at you.

the squeaks and grunts she makes when sleeping. And how kate rushes to get her a tissue, thinking that she just sneezed.

she takes a pacifier. simple, I know. but Kate never did and now I realize how nice it is to have a baby that does!

seeing how excited kate gets when Gwen is awake. She always shouts "Oh, now Gwen is awake. Hooray!" and she must say 50 times a day "She's so cute. She's so little." Always together.

seeing Paul take care of Gwen with ease. Like the doctors all said to me as I was leaving the hospital "Just like wearing an old hat." He wears it well.

her tiny toes.

when she's not swaddled, she startles herself awake again and again.

her favorite place to be during the day is in the sling. She loves to be snuggled up and held.

Gwen girl, we love you.

i did it

i survived my first day home alone with these two. I know, I've been spoiled. The timing was perfect. My mom was in town to help for a week after Gwen was born and then Paul had two weeks off for Spring Break. We really are going to miss the student life. With Paul back at school, today was my first day on my own all day. We had a last minute play date with some old friends from New York, both kids napped at the same time (hooray) and we made it out of the house for a trip to the library. There were only a few tears and a lot of what you see below. Gwen sleeping, Kate naked and lots of messes. That's one thing I haven't got under control. How do you keep your house clean when you've got a tornado (translates toddler) following behind you messing everything up? Any suggestions?

make way for ducklings

Kate has been really into ducks lately. On a last minute trip to Boston last week, we had to make a quick stop at the Boston Public Gardens to check out the bronze statues that pay tribute to Mr. and Mrs. Mallard and their ducklings (all of whom Kate can name). They are characters in one of her favorite books, Make Way for Ducklings.
We've been hearing about these ducklings nonstop and kate has begged to go see Mr. and Mrs. Mallard again and again so we decided to go try and find them a little closer to home. It seemed to satisfy Kate's craving for ducks, even if they didn't like our peanuts. And check out her fashion sense below. Maybe she's on to something.

around our house

after a few--somewhat rough--weeks of adjusting, our little kate is back to her old self! A little description of the pictures above from left to right:

around our house you will find...

Kate playing with her dolls. A lot. She's got 5 of them in the wagon, all covered up with a blanket, ready to take a nap. She dresses them, feeds them, rocks them, and loves them. Her favorite is her "live doll" Gwen, who gets lots of attention from her big sister. Yes, her dress is on backwards. No, I did not dress her!

Lots of hiding going on. Behind the couch, in the back of my closet or maybe under her play sink? Anyone seen Kate?

Naked babies. If Kate had things her way, I think she would be naked all the time. She loves it. She runs around the house singing Dora, jumps in her crib and likes to look in the mirror. She can take her clothes off in the time it takes me to grab my purse and turn around. No wonder it takes us an hour to get out of the house!

Pacifier stealing. Kate never took a pacifier. But now that Gwen does she's fascinated with them!
And of course you will find Gwen around our house. And Kate telling me every few minutes, "She's so cute. She's so little." Yes, I know. I hope she stays that way for a while! What was it like before she was here? I really can't remember.

ten tiny toes

What a miracle that all ten toes come out so tiny and perfect. I know, it's cliche, but I'm allowed to gush a little bit, right? I think newborn toes are my favorite part of their little bodies.

And this profile that meets me every few hours (or minutes) as she fills her belly. I'm trying to remember these moments--they pass too quickly. This girl is growing. Already a solid 9 lbs 3 ounces and 21 inches, she definitely knows how to eat.

sleepy eyes

She really was awake while taking her first bath... Sometimes those eyes are just too heavy to hold open. Or maybe the warm water reminded her of the old days when it was always the perfect temperature?

gwen's arrival

I’ve had a few requests for Gwen’s birth story so I’ve decided to share a somewhat edited version. As a disclaimer, this was my experience and everyone has different experiences with labor and birth and I don’t think one is better than the other!

I have always been interested in natural childbirth and was intrigued on how different cultures view childbirth. I feel like birth in our culture is treated more like a medical condition than the natural, peaceful process that it can be and is. Of course there are many instances where modern medical technology is a miracle and saves lives and I'm not discounting that, however I knew in my experience that my body would do its thing if I was prepared mentally to be in control. I did some research after becoming pregnant again and decided to do a hypnobabies home study course. I started practicing around 28 weeks by listening to "scripts" or self relaxation techniques every day, along with pregnancy affirmations that helped to keep my mind positive about the pregnancy and birth. I was worried at first that it would be too much of a commitment for me, but found as I started doing it that I really looked forward to taking some time to sit and relax. I think it made this pregnancy much easier for me and I always felt calm about the pregnancy and birth.

Fast forward to Friday night, Feb 27 around midnight I woke up having contractions about 5 minutes apart. They weren't too intense, but I definitely felt them and it kept me from sleeping. I kept timing contractions and they stayed pretty regular, but weren't getting stronger or longer. Having been in labor before, I knew that things needed to get more intense before it was time to go to the hospital. So I tried to go back to bed and rest. I was able to get a few hours of sleep. I woke up Saturday morning, still having contractions and cramping, but they weren't regular. Some were intense and some not, so I just decided to try and go about my day. I went on a walk with Kate and to yoga. By Saturday afternoon they began to be more intense and I got the feeling that the baby was coming soon. I called friends who were planning to watch Kate and then decided to keep waiting things out at home until I knew for sure. It seemed that just when I thought it was time to go, the contractions would ease up and I wouldn't have any for 20 minutes. I knew they needed to be regular so I decided maybe it was all a false alarm. I tried to keep busy doing other things hoping maybe that would go away. That evening, I decided to run the stairs to our basement 20 times (I'm convinced running stairs is what started my labor with Kate). I went to bed, hoping for something or nothing--I just wanted these half way uncomfortable contractions to stop so I could rest. We went to bed around 10 and after lying in bed for an hour, again not being able to sleep, I got up and decided this was for real. The contractions become longer and more intense and were coming about 5 minutes apart. Around midnight I woke Paul up and told him it was time to go. We arrived at the hospital around 1 am. We waited in triage for a half hour or so, and the doctor arrived. I was dilated to 5-6 cm and admitted. The doctor broke my water and told me she'd be back in an hour to check on me. I thought the hospital staff was excellent. I wasn't required to have an IV or be on continuous monitoring. I was able to move around as I pleased, but ended up spending most of my time sitting up in bed laboring. The nurse checked the baby every 10 minutes or so and around 3:15 am while checking the baby, realized the baby's heart rate was dropping during contractions, but recovering after. The next 15 minutes were a whirlwind. The nurse immediately made me lay on my side (which I was not happy about--laying down is the worst position for dealing with intense contractions) and the room was filled with people. Someone started getting an IV ready and the doctor rushed in. I really wasn't sure what was going on, until the doctor checked me and said I was ready to push and 12 minutes later our baby was born with the cord wrapped around her neck. They rushed her to the warmer, gave her a few breaths and after about 30 seconds she started breathing on her own. When Paul tells the story he says how scared he was that she came out blue, but for some reason I never remember feeling scared. I had felt her kicking me throughout the whole labor and knew she was ok. As it turns out, she was. The doctor said that she probably just descended really fast and that combined with the cord around her neck caused her heart rate to drop a little bit at the end.

The whole experience seems a bit euphoric to me now. It was intense and definitely one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I'm glad it's over and I'm glad she is here. It was a really great feeling though to be in control and let my body do its work. The mind is so powerful! My recovery has been amazing. I feel fantastic and loved that less than an hour after giving birth I was able to walk down to the nursery to watch my baby be given her first bath. Paul was incredibly supportive throughout the entire pregnancy and birth and I feel lucky to have him as my birth (and life) partner. Gwen has been a really calm baby so far and everything seems much easier the second time around. I’ve just got to figure out how to keep my 2 year old under control now!

we are all in love

and home. and warm. and feeling somewhat rested thanks to lots of help from friends and parents that just arrived (thank you). she's perfect. i'm no longer pregnant (hooray) and the sun is shining through the icicles out the window. we're feeling good.

Meet Gwen...

Announcing the birth of our second daughter, Gwen Isabell Tanner, who was born at 3:37am, weighs 8lbs 1oz, and is 20 inches long. Jill did a great job handling her natural birth and both mom and baby are doing well. Kate was especially excited to finally meet her baby sister.